Rule #1: Three Months’ Salary

According to an expert-fueled report on Brides.com, the purchaser should spend about three full months’ salary on the ring. This is more a rule of thumb, however, and if the person buying the ring is “heavily in debt or concerned about job security,” he or she might want to scale back a bit.

Rule #2: One Month’s Salary

You may have heard the more prevalent rule of thumb that a person should spend about a month’s salary on the ring—and you have diamond manufacturer De Beers to thank for that little wisdom nugget. Back in America’s Depression era, De Beers started running an ad campaign suggesting that buyers spend one month’s salary on the ring to save money, and the idea stuck.

Rule #3: Split the Difference

If three months seems like a stretch for your S.O. but one month seems a little skimpy, there are some contemporary ways of thinking that suggest you compromise and spend two months’ salary on the rock. This can be a good option if you’re looking to spend a small fortune without potentially wrecking your finances.

Rule #4: Spend the Average Cost of a Ring

According to the a 2013 report by Jewelers of America, couples spent an average of $4000 on an engagement ring in 2012. You always have the option of presenting your potential fiancée with this information and suggesting he or she spend the average amount. It’s a fair number, but you should keep in mind that it has nothing to do with his or her own personal financial standing.

Rule #5: Forget the Rules

In our minds—and we assume the minds of many recession-strapped Americans—the amount spent on an engagement ring should be 100% up to the person buying it. Of course, the input of the intended is always welcome, but if you aren’t the person actually making the purchase, at the end of the day, it’s not really up to you. “A lot of women wouldn’t want their fiancé to spend that much money on a ring,” Kit Yarrow, a former jewelry dealer turned professor of psychology at Golden Gate University, told AskMen.com. “Make it a personal decision.”

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